I'm going to donate a kidney

Today, GW outed me as his donor on FB. He said,

  "by the way, this cool girl who posted the pic of me and her at the Space Needle, is my donor. Everybody show some love to Sandlin, I owe her my life..." 

 which kinda blew up this picture on my FB feed. I figured I owed my friends a little more explanation.

We did have a great time at the Space Needle.

After living away from my family for some years, I deeply value my ability to care for my loved ones. I know what it feels like when you need help that is does not feel available, and what it feels like to support someone like family, whether they are family or not. It is a pleasure to be able to take action when someone I care about needs it.

In early January, my mom called me to tell me that my sister had been with her boyfriend GW in the hospital for days. His kidneys had failed, due to his lupus, and now he was in a whirlwind of dialysis and stabilizing procedures. My grandmother, the model of a selfless human, had offered her kidney, and that planted a seed for me. I remember sitting in my office, hundreds of miles from my sister, wishing I could DO something- make them dinner, take a shift at the hospital so she could sleep, walk their dogs... any kind of action.

As the next few months progressed, I entered a slippery slope of logic that landed me with a clean bill of a health, approval from the medical review board, and a pending date for a transplant surgery.

I decided I would definitely do something to help, because this would prolong GW's life, and improve the quality of his life. I decided I would do some research on organ donation, so I could help them recruit a donor. This would take almost no effort, and it would help save someone's life.

Once I did some research, I decided I should take an active role in recruiting a donor. This would take a little effort, but would save someone's life.

And then I started to think about who I might ask, and whether they would be able to make informed consent- that is, who would be able to undertake this process and fully understand what they were taking on in terms of personal risk and opportunity. After my research, and frankly, experience as a researcher looking for a drug to help people who are rejecting their kidney transplant, I knew what informed consent would look like. I decided the only way to ask that of someone else, was to really consider it for myself. Would I be willing to donate a kidney to someone I loved? Of course! There is a very limited risk, and it would save someone's life! 

But I need my kidney. Or,.. actually, what am I saving it for? The numbers of people who need kidneys are huge (80,000 people are on a waitlist that ranges from 5-10 years), but this still means I am probably not likely to know someone who needs a kidney until we are all much older. I asked around, were any of my friends and family likely to need a kidney? No? Then what am I saving it for? And like many important decisions I've ever made, I had a moment of realization that, oh, that should be me.

Would I be willing to be laid up for 2-6 weeks, if it could save someone's life? I have a lifelong obligation to stay pretty healthy after surgery, but that's just good advice for everyone. And the other side of the equation is what a difference it would make to GW. The cost to me is significant, but it would save GW's life!

Dialysis has proved to be a constant struggle, punctuated by crises that is simply no way to live life. If he could get a transplant, he'd get his time and energy back. His diet could normalize and he could go back to doing things that he enjoyed, like biking, hiking with his dog, and camping with my sister. It would literally add years to his life, and give him a quality of life that isn't possible on dialysis. That's how I made the decision to be a kidney donor.

I'm still scared. I'm still dreading surgery, and the recovery. I'm still anxious that this might change my life in unexpected ways. But those still seem like small risks compared to the good that I can do.

I have an amazing opportunity to save a life. Not everyone can do this. You have to be in really good health to be an organ donor. You have to be able to make the time for screening, surgery and recovery. I'm lucky, I've got the health, the time, and the support system to be able to do this. And seeing the support GW has from his friends and family makes me feel like I am giving a gift not just to him, but to all of his support system. It is humbling to be counted in the community that has rallied around him.

Over 28K!

My dad likes it when I update the thermometer. With some hours I've put in, a big donation he sent to an orphanage they support in Africa, and the Briefcase Relay I talked some friends in to running tomorrow (in support of the foodbank)... the thermometer has just surpassed $28,000. That's a really crazy huge number. 39% of that is real dollars- which is still a crazy huge number.

Hopefully there will be photos from the briefcase relay- there will be costumes. Wish us luck!

Give Big and Leverage Dollars

Thermometer is up over 90%. This has a lot to do with the Seattle Foundation's Give BIG event. It's a good time to give, because it allows you to stretch your money a little farther by accessing the stretch pool. More than $13 M were donated this may to local nonprofits. It's pretty awesome.

I'm starting efforts to fundraise for the SummeRun 5K again this year, and hoping to get in some trail work with friends to get the last bit done.

I'd be lying if I said this wasn't starting to feel like a bit of a slog. Now we are talking deadlines, which are much less sexy. But I'm relieved to know that I'm actually on track to make this deadline (even if plan B is to donate the remaining money in July. It's now a number I can almost afford.)

I think that overall the impact of the project has been good. It's forced me to think about how I want to spend my time and money, and the various ways that those choices affect me and the people around me. And it's helped me to find ways to include charitable work and giving into my normal routine. I now ALWAYS say yes when a cashier asks me if I want to donate a dollar to the foodbank, MS society, cancer research, or what have you. I seek out girl scouts, boy scouts, and campfire kids to help their fundraising. I know how to connect homeless kids to services, thanks to Friends of Youth. I can also cook for a crowd. I make a budget for charitable giving. (Which is cool, because I have enough money I can comfortably share some of it- making me feel double awesome.) I've been able to talk with my friends and family about charitable work and giving, which previously seemed uncomfortable (it's only uncomfortable because no one has any idea what they are supposed to do).

I still struggle with the question of what is best in terms of my time and money. Food bank or Red Cross? Are 5Ks a legit form of "charitable giving"? What about other organizations that do cool and important work, like scholarship funds, animal shelters, or community services? I'm trying not to over think it now. I want to live in an interesting, safe, and vibrant community. That means I support the work of a lot of different kinds of people, mostly because I want to know that those kinds of people are around. One cool thing about giving is that it isn't all or nothing. I can give some dollars to the cat shelter, some dollars to the homeless shelter, some dollars to the community center, and all of this is good. I'm not stressing myself out about whether it is all equivalently good. If I feel compelled to help, I'll help.

This is still happening

My father just reminded me to update the thermometer. Much to say on the many things that have been going on- science fairs, finishing my tenure at Director of Education at HiveBio, seeking a replacement for the AWIS newsletter, planning some more 5Ks.

Perhaps the best thing to say is 84.95%. It's getting really close.

Cooking for the Shelter

This week Nana agreed to help me take dinner to the shelter in Redmond. They have recently increased their bed count, so now we take dinner for 20-25 hungry young people, which is bordering on too much. Well, perhaps not too many people, but it requires a lot of planning, and careful choices about menu. And you know who I want on my team when there is a cooking project that requires planning and choices? Nana. This week I decided to go with pulled pork, which is crockpotted in 2 crockpots, baked potatoes and salad. My fatal error was to also deciding to cook an apple crisp.

I picked up Nana at 5, and we got back to my house to start with dinner around 5:30. We figured we'd assemble the crisp, cook it, and then do the potatoes (which I foil wrapped beforehand), so that the potatoes would still be warm at dinner. It's ok to laugh a little at this point- we need to deliver dinner at 8:30, and that stuff is simply not all going to happen in that three hour window. Nana and Matt started slicing apples while I made the top and preheated the oven. The crisp went in the oven around 6:30, and I was already starting to think better of my plan. Instead of turning the oven up (since a crisp can pretty much cook between 350 and 425), I just threw the potatoes in there as well. This will get us to the punchline in about an hour.

Next, we shredded 16 pounds of meat. I was feeling good about this- it was tasty, and for once seemed like plenty of food. At about 7, I nuked up some lasagna and the three of us had a simple dinner. Matt kept bragging to Nana that this was special, I usually forget to feed us on the nights I take dinner to the shelter.

At 7:30, I got up from the table, ready to start thinking about how we would move all this stuff, and wondering why we weren't overwhelmed with the luscious smells out of the oven. Picture this, I have a 15x11x4 foil pan brimming with apple crisp on the bottom rack, surrounded by foil wrapped potatoes on all sides, and above that is a tray of more foil wrapped potatoes, which is also surrounded by potatoes. (Dinner for 25, right?) The edges of the crisp seemed bubbly but the middle was... still crisp. Gulp. I figured, if the potatoes were done, I would just pull them out of the way and the heat would get more even in the oven. Worse news, the potatoes are also crisp. My eyes are getting bulgy now.

There is a moment, usually about 7:30, when we are planning to take dinner to the shelter and I think, "Nevermind. This won't work. Is it too late to cancel?" This was that moment.

Nana breezes in to the kitchen and says, "Hm, why don't you turn up the oven? And can you nuke those potatoes?" and then she goes on to cleaning up from all the dinner and cooking. Yes and Yes!  By this point Matt has looked up a real recipe for making baked potatoes (1hr at 425), and we crank up the heat. He starts pulling potatoes out of their foil jackets in pairs and throwing them in the microwave for a couple minutes at a time, then rewrapping them. Matt is watching the clock like a hawk, but I'm confident that dinner can be served eventually. I start loading up the car. Juice. Buns. BBQ sauce. Butter and sour cream. Lasagna pan full of pork. Salad. The longer the potatoes have been in the oven, the less nuking they need. The crisp is starting to soften and smell lovely. We get the last soft potato in the car and hurtle down to Redmond to serve.

I'm feeling grateful that I can afford to donate dinner, and that I have family to support me in the effort, but still a little bashful that we might be a couple minutes late and a fair bit frazzled. When we arrive, the shelter is dark. For one second, I wonder if I misread the calendar, but no, homeless shelters don't take days off. Turns out, we aren't the only ones feeling flustered tonight, the key has gone missing, and the staff are waiting for someone to let them in.

As we wait patiently, more people start hanging out in this dark parking lot, and I'm feeling really glad that we have a trunk full of tasty food to share. Once the door is open, we breeze in like this is no big deal, unpacking and delivering while the now flustered staff and trying to recover from their shortened prep time as well. By the time we left, it seemed like a huge crowd was waiting outside. Several of the guests thanked us for bringing dinner, and we slinked back to out nice warm homes. The next day I got an email that they had more people than beds that night, but they were able to offer dinner, even seconds, to everyone who was there that night.

A Day of Service

I didn't used to get Martin Luther King Jr Day off. I have no particular habits for this day (today), but last year I learned that many people take the day as a day of service. It's an awesome way to memorialize a man who worked so hard for peace. 

"Life's most persistent and urgent question is: 'What are you doing for others?'" 
-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

This year, in my current job, I do get Martin Luther King Jr Day off, and I thought I would actually participate in a service project. You know, try out a new organization, meet new people, learn about a new issue.

I emailed my family and asked who would want to tag along, and through the United Way my Dad found a school that was looking for some help with a construction project and that sounded just right to him. My mom opted to go with him, which is lucky for this school, because the two of them are like a construction machine when they get going. I ended up not being able to participate, but they stopped by afterwards to let me know how it went (and get some help on another project my Dad is working on for me. Thanks Dad). They spent 8 hours (!) climbing ladders, sawing framing and generally building windows. Awesome. 16 hours added to the thermometer... and just like that the 70% mark was crossed.

I still want to find an excise to join someone else's service project, but in the meantime, I've got another date for dinner at Friend's of Youth, an both AWIS and HiveBio events on the calendar.

Re-resolving to Meet This Goal

Being 30, I'm starting to warm up to the parts of myself that aren't going to change. I tend to think of it more in the context of recognizing my strengths, but these come hand in hand with weaknesses. For example, I'm a starter. I love starting new projects, getting new things off the ground and the experience of diving in to new experiences. It makes me a bit bold about novelty. But in contrast, I am not such a great finisher. The top of my desk (and most of my office) is littered with projects I have started, that I have sunk too much time on to completely abandon, although I have quite clearly done just that.

I knew this about myself going in to this crazy project. I was particularly attracted to the craziness of it. But I also knew that at some point I'd get far enough along that I could see the end coming along, and just sorta bail, confident in the knowledge that I would get there eventually. Id join a few groups, and then forget to track, and... well, whatever. To prevent this behavior, I was looking for things that I could engage in regularly, to help me keep up the momentum.  Dinner for Friend's of Youth has been one of those. 5Ks were another. But... I've kinda lost momentum on the other aspects. Finding small ways to stay engaged (and tracking them), getting my friends and family to help with these things, and putting it on the blog has fallen by the way side a bit. 

This is in part because I'm busy. But even more so, it is probably because I need to find volunteer activities that are a good fit for the kind of life I want to be leading. That was (supposed to be) at the core of this project, that I could use this as an excuse to get involved in my community in a way that feels natural.

And maybe I should get a bit more honest with myself about the life I'm realistically going to lead, instead of the life I think I should lead. Let me be honest, the work I am doing with HiveBio, which is very cool, and exciting, and novel is SO hard on me. It turns out, I HATE being in charge. I stress out about decisions, I'm reluctant to tell people what to do, and I would rather talk about venereal disease than money. These are all tasks I'm called on to do fairly often in my role. I should probably figure out how I can transition to instead doing something I'm good at, so I'll feel better about the work. Moral of the story- don't kill yourself doing something you suck at when it would be better for everyone if you did something you were good at instead.

As I enter the new year though, I don't just want to be shirking my responsibilities and waiting for this thermometer to rise on it's own. Instead, I'm going to get back to blogging, which requires me to have something worth blogging about. I'll be getting back to bugging my friends and family to helping me raise the last $10,000 on the thermometer, hopefully before I turn 31. That's something to feel good about.

Happy New Year!

Metrics!

Really, who doesn't love metrics? There is lots of pithy wisdom about the importance of measurement in success, but let's not beat around the bush. I love graphs.

Here is a graph that shows how the thermometer has been moving over time.

Fig 1. Dollars raised over time. This is what rocking looks like.

It's ok to be impressed by the increasing pace that it moves at. It's cool to wonder what the big gaps or wide leaps are about. I've got this all in Excel so I can look at exactly that. It's a little dizzying to try to project when we might just bust the thermometer. Assuming the month of my actual birthday was an anomoly, I think I will probably be hitting about 10% a month- or be meeting my goal in about 6 months. SIX MONTHS. That's like.... well, that's a bridge we will cross when we get there.

In the meantime, I've been pitching in hours to get HiveBio going, and enjoying the heck out of that. puts me in touch with lots of ambitious, energetic folks with great ideas. That is one wonderful thing that this project has brought to my life.

Something Amazing: 40%!!

Saturday morning, we somehow talk ourselves, our friends, their parents and my parents to get get up early and go to a small 5K, the Bridge to Adoption 5K. It had been quite a hectic week, since both Matt and I have been busy with HiveBio stuff, but we wanted to run this event.

Fig 1. Before the Race. Matt and Julie are saving every ounce of energy.

1) It's super close.
2) Jeffrey and Matt ran last year, and came in 1 and 2.
3) Adoption is even more on everyone's minds of late.... and this event is fundraising for the adoption of a second child in the organizers family.
4) As always, the multi-person multiplier seemed in my favor here.
Since I was with my parents as I was registering, they agreed to come and walk, under the condition that we would all have breakfast together afterwards. It's a nice run through Blyth Park, and although Matt and Jeffrey both put up better times than last year, someone else beat them.  But, hey, we won gift cards in the raffle, and Julie even won a pair of new shoes in the raffle.  How great is that!

Fig 2. Post-race, and post-breakfast. A good time was had by all.

And then I came home, and added the tally to the spreadsheet. 7 people at the 5K, my time at HiveBio, Matt's time with the HiveBio computers, the value of the computer themselves...., and holy cats! We just hit 40%!! Seriously, more than $12,000 raised for charity.

While it is obvious to me now that I need to spend some time explaining what I am doing with HiveBio, I also want to spend some time reflecting on the momentum we have currently. I've mentioned this before; the best ways to volunteer time are the ways that a most compatible with your lifestyle. I can easily ask my mom and grandmother to help me make dinner for the shelter because they like to cook. I can easily convince Jeffrey to run a 5K (who in turn can get the rest of his family to tag along), since he loves running anyway. I filled up our garage with old computers, and Matt was keen to get fixing them. My plan for the rest of the year is to highlight diferent causes that I like to support, and hopefully this will help spring to mind ways that others can help as well.

What a Great Birthday!

I have the best friends and family ever. Seriously. I'm still so excited about all the good stuff yinz did for my big day.

First things first: we shattered the 30% mark! 31.5% is the official high water mark as of my birthday!

Is it crass to talk numbers? I don't really care. For my actual birthday, my awesome friends and family helped me to push up the thermometer nearly $900- nearly 3% of the way there! In one day!

So let's break it down. I had TWO friends go in for their very first blood donations, thanks Karen and Ruth! Both of them said it was not terrible, that people were very friendly and they got to eat cookies. You should try this.

My parents gave another donation to one of my favorite teachers on Donor's Choose who is moving to a new classroom and needs (choke) pencils for her third grade students who can't afford their own pencils and crayons. Ms. Kacsur's classroom has been supported by my folks in the past, someday soon I hope to scan in some of the thank you cards I got from her students. *misty eyes*

AND my parents gave me some hats to take to Friends of Youth (you may be wondering if generosity is hereditary: I believe it is a learned behavior). Combined with the lamps and tent from Karen, I'm ready to take quite a haul to the Friend's of Youth office up the hill from me, to distribute these items to foster, at risk and homeless youth.

My parents ALSO gave some money to Northwest Harvest, the regional food bank. It both infuriates and inspires me that there can be people in America who would go hungry, if it weren't for the work of food banks like Northwest Harvest. I'm glad to finally get them up on the board.


I'm so glad to support Northwest Harvest, in fact, that I asked my friends to participate in a game of "skill" at my birthday party. We opened a pool for ladder golf, and planned to split the pool between the winner and Northwest harvest.  This resulted in both some friendly rivalry AND $80 for Northwest Harvest. Aren't my friends awesome??

I had a great time, and I really can't think of a better way to spend the day. Thanks to my friends to hung out with me, supported the causes I care about, and generally made me feel awesome about turning 30.

Before the SummeRun 5K. It might take me longer than 10 minutes.

Here is How I Want to Celebrate

I'm turning 30 this year. For my birthday, I'd really like to live in a more wonderful world.
For my birthday, I would like:

• all of my friends to go donate blood (I add an hour to the thermometer for each donation)
• for money to go to Northwest Harvest to support the good work they do to battle hunger (Text ENDHUNGER to 80888 to make a $10 donation from your phone.* *See details here.)
• for people to come and run a 5K with me to support efforts to end Ovarian Cancer. You can join my team when you register (30 for my 30th, of course), or donate to my efforts here. But it would be most fun if you came to run with me.
• for people nearby to come to my house, eat cake, share merriment and bring me items from the Friends of Youth Supply Wish List, to support the needs of foster children in transition and homeless youth on the Eastside. More details on this to emerge, but Sunday afternoon, my house.

If you do any of these things, or any other really awesome thing in your community, let me know so I can throw it on the thermometer.You'll be glad you did, because then we can share this happy and good feeling.

And, if you know of any good charity food events (pancake breakfast, crab feed, etc) in the area, please let me know so I can add it to my schedule!

--Update 7/17/13--
I've hit my fundraising goal for the 5K! Thanks to the support of my friends and coworkers, how cool! Ovarian Cancer research and patient relief can still use your help, so it's not to late to pledge. Or consider supporting one of my teammates.

We are getting so close to 30%...

100 Volunteer Hours

Today I spent the afternoon in some volunteer work I needed to catch up on. I am the editor for the Seattle Association for Women in Science (AWIS) newsletter, which means that at least quarterly, I have to sit down and edit some documents, exchange flurries of emails and get some files organized. It's not unlike my real job (as a writer), and it's nice to be able to schedule it for when I have time. What I'm getting at here, is this was a fairly routine experience.

And as I was updating the totals on my spreadsheet (which I love doing), I noticed it updated to 104 hours. That's a lot of time! And since what I really love about the spreadsheet are the metrics, let me break it down for you. From the totals on the thermometer (currently $7,345.27), which is combined hours and dollars, about half of that is hours, and half dollars. About 57 of those hours, I've been involved in (I will track combined hours for something Matt & I or myself and others do, so it's less lines on the spreadsheet).

Just for the record, I think we can compare the amount of volunteer time I've racked up this year to the amount of volunteer time I did last year, which was basically only my work with AWIS. Or ~4 hours a month. In the 5 months since I started tracking, I've basically doubled my own efforts, and some how talked others into matching my volunteer efforts.  Go us!

--
That being said, having spent a sunny Saturday in my office, I've got to get serious about finding some outdoor volunteer opportunities. And it looks like the pub crawl is going to fall through- but I'd like to get a group together for some type of volunteer project: trail maintenance? flash mob at the blood bank? 5K? I'm not sure, so if you have ideas, let me know.

Another HUGE Milestone- 20%

Big news- we hit 20% of the goal last month.  That means that in May, we did 10%.  THat's huge! If we can sustain 10% of the goal every month- we'll be done in EIGHT MONTHS.

Of course, there were some (great!) reasons that May was so strong that may not be true through the summer. Seattle Big Give encouraged me to give away a fair part of my donation budget early. My brother's volunteer gig with Austin Partners in Education is on summer break (thanks Noel!). There were Mother's Day gifts in donations.  So, we gotta get/stay serious about keeping up this momentum through the summer.  I'll be looking for some trail work myself, and some more 5Ks.  But mostly GIANT, gushy Thank YOUs to everyone who has helped push the thermometer up this high, this quick!  It's awesome!

Busy Day- Go charity!

A long weekend mean lots of time to get involved in the community. We kicked off the day with a 5K that was benefiting the Special Olympics.  We can talk about how slow my time was, or we can talk about how awesome it was to see families encouraging this Down's Syndrome kids on the same course- or how cool it was when the lady pushing her cerebral palsy son crossed the finish line.  It was a pretty great 5K.

Figure 1: Delicious Pancake Image stolen from here, the KITH website

And THEN, we went for the KITH/Kiwanis Pancake Breakfast. And I say "we" to mean not just myself and husband, but his bestie and wife and kiddo. We got the multiplier! The awesome thing about going to a pancake breakfast with a 4 year old is the access to high quality pancakes. Sure, we all got yummy pancakes, but the kid got Mickey Mouse Pancakes- with a smile, how do you even do that?- a doggy pancake and a BIKE pancake.  Kiwanis seriously knows how to make their pancakes; I'll be watching out for opportunities to eat and support good causes with pancakes.

Seattle GiveBIG

I'm a bit late to talking about this, but May 15 is the Seattle Foundation's GiveBIG campaign.  They collect matching from generous donors, and then connect civilians like me to local and regional nonprofits.  On May 15, any funds donated get MATCHED by the Seattle Foundation.

And someday, when it's not so late, I plan to go back and use the resources on the Seattle Foundation site to help me find a good environmental organization to support. They do nice due diligence on organizations, as part of supplying grant 

I cashed out my PayPal Account (where my contracting money goes) to make $500 in donations to some of my favorite charities. I gave money to the Evergreen Mountain Bike Alliance (on behalf of my husband), Friends of Youth, Kirkland Interfaith Transitional Housing, IDRI and the Puget Sound Blood Bank. And just like that, the thermometer ticked up by $1,000. Thanks Seattle Foundation!

So far, (as of 9:00 PM) 10 MILLION DOLLARS have been raised through this effort. That is stunning.

Share the Love!

I took dinner to the Friends of Youth shelter at the Landing earlier this week. The best part was being able to share that doing-good feeling with my mom and grandma, who happily joined in to help out.  (Also, cooking with my mom seems to reduce that feeling of existential kitchen crisis, where I wonder, "Why am I here? Do I even know what cooking is??")

I knew it would be more fun, and less chore like to have my Mom helping in the kitchen. But I was surprised by how good I felt about sharing the experience.  I always feel really good about taking dinner over there- it's something really tangible that I am doing for my community. It's really nice to share that feeling with someone I like, and to feel like we are the sort of people who do good things in the community.

I was planning to write a post about how I want to look for more ways to share that good feeling, but my folks beat me to the punch on Mother's Day.  While we were sitting down to a Mother's Day brunch, my Dad turned to his mom (my saintly grandmother), and said, "Your mother's day gift is a donation to Donors Choose."  I couldn't have been happier if the gift had been for me.  Or if I actually got to read the books that my grandmother picked to buy for a local classroom.

I think I'm starting to understand what they say about good deeds multiplying.

---
Have you noticed our totals?  Just inching past the $4000 mark (!)

Now would be an awesome time to sign up for the Crawl for a Cause- raise money for charity, and hang out with me for my birthday.  It's going to be grand!

I'm donating blood this week. I'll try to write an update about the importance of blood donation, but schedule yours today!