I'm going to donate a kidney

Today, GW outed me as his donor on FB. He said,

  "by the way, this cool girl who posted the pic of me and her at the Space Needle, is my donor. Everybody show some love to Sandlin, I owe her my life..." 

 which kinda blew up this picture on my FB feed. I figured I owed my friends a little more explanation.

We did have a great time at the Space Needle.

After living away from my family for some years, I deeply value my ability to care for my loved ones. I know what it feels like when you need help that is does not feel available, and what it feels like to support someone like family, whether they are family or not. It is a pleasure to be able to take action when someone I care about needs it.

In early January, my mom called me to tell me that my sister had been with her boyfriend GW in the hospital for days. His kidneys had failed, due to his lupus, and now he was in a whirlwind of dialysis and stabilizing procedures. My grandmother, the model of a selfless human, had offered her kidney, and that planted a seed for me. I remember sitting in my office, hundreds of miles from my sister, wishing I could DO something- make them dinner, take a shift at the hospital so she could sleep, walk their dogs... any kind of action.

As the next few months progressed, I entered a slippery slope of logic that landed me with a clean bill of a health, approval from the medical review board, and a pending date for a transplant surgery.

I decided I would definitely do something to help, because this would prolong GW's life, and improve the quality of his life. I decided I would do some research on organ donation, so I could help them recruit a donor. This would take almost no effort, and it would help save someone's life.

Once I did some research, I decided I should take an active role in recruiting a donor. This would take a little effort, but would save someone's life.

And then I started to think about who I might ask, and whether they would be able to make informed consent- that is, who would be able to undertake this process and fully understand what they were taking on in terms of personal risk and opportunity. After my research, and frankly, experience as a researcher looking for a drug to help people who are rejecting their kidney transplant, I knew what informed consent would look like. I decided the only way to ask that of someone else, was to really consider it for myself. Would I be willing to donate a kidney to someone I loved? Of course! There is a very limited risk, and it would save someone's life! 

But I need my kidney. Or,.. actually, what am I saving it for? The numbers of people who need kidneys are huge (80,000 people are on a waitlist that ranges from 5-10 years), but this still means I am probably not likely to know someone who needs a kidney until we are all much older. I asked around, were any of my friends and family likely to need a kidney? No? Then what am I saving it for? And like many important decisions I've ever made, I had a moment of realization that, oh, that should be me.

Would I be willing to be laid up for 2-6 weeks, if it could save someone's life? I have a lifelong obligation to stay pretty healthy after surgery, but that's just good advice for everyone. And the other side of the equation is what a difference it would make to GW. The cost to me is significant, but it would save GW's life!

Dialysis has proved to be a constant struggle, punctuated by crises that is simply no way to live life. If he could get a transplant, he'd get his time and energy back. His diet could normalize and he could go back to doing things that he enjoyed, like biking, hiking with his dog, and camping with my sister. It would literally add years to his life, and give him a quality of life that isn't possible on dialysis. That's how I made the decision to be a kidney donor.

I'm still scared. I'm still dreading surgery, and the recovery. I'm still anxious that this might change my life in unexpected ways. But those still seem like small risks compared to the good that I can do.

I have an amazing opportunity to save a life. Not everyone can do this. You have to be in really good health to be an organ donor. You have to be able to make the time for screening, surgery and recovery. I'm lucky, I've got the health, the time, and the support system to be able to do this. And seeing the support GW has from his friends and family makes me feel like I am giving a gift not just to him, but to all of his support system. It is humbling to be counted in the community that has rallied around him.

Happy Birthday! $30,000 for Charity!

My 31st birthday just happened, and it marked another, more momentous occasion: The completion of the $30,000 mark! I'm so happy!

Since my last post, I donated some money to a scholarship fund, to a veterans benefit event, took dinner to the shelter again, and spent out all my contract earnings on Donor's Choose projects. And I got a bunch of support from my family for my 5K next weekend in support of the Misha Rivkin Center. I got to spend part of the weekend picking Donor's Choose projects, which is always fun, which meant I spent part of my birthday getting messages from teachers. I'm not ashamed to admit that I found a bunch of mostly complete projects to fund, so I could get the joyful notes from teachers.

"YAHOO! I am thrilled beyond words that this project has been funded!" 

"I received news this morning that our Magnificent Mindstorms project has been fully funded! I am so grateful. The kids will be so excited to come back to school and begin working on their robotics project with these new materials."

"I am speechless and I can assure you that NEVER HAPPENS!"

This is one of the big things that I have learned in the last year.  Charitable giving is not completely selfless, and it's ok to be a little selfish for the greater good (ie, wanting to get the awesome feeling of helping someone out). In fact, that's pretty much required to get any kind of momentum, either from giving money or time.

I have also learned to think differently about what it means to live generously. I have been practicing thinking about myself as part of a larger community, not just my own family and friends, but the city I live in, the regions we love, and the people who live there. I want to see my family lead joyful lives. I want to live in a city where everyone has a chance to thrive- and that means giving opportunities and support to organizations and missions that perhaps don't directly impact me. This is why I have supported the Puget Sound Blood Center and the Friends of Youth. I have not (yet) needed blood, but I want to live in a region where we don't have to worry about that need. I was never a homeless youth (because I was lucky to have an amazing family), but I don't want homeless youth in my community to miss out on the opportunity for a wonderful life. I really feel that I benefit from the services of nonprofits in my area, and that it is one of the things that makes this region great. Getting to work with HiveBio is really what helped me shape that idea. HiveBio's mission is to bring science to everyone and anyone in our region- and the more I worked with them, the more I realized how happy I am living in a community where everyone and anyone can access science.

It's been really empowering to see how I could make a change in my own community too. I should say, I was WAY too shy to talk about this effort with any of the organizations I worked with, or to solicit support very broadly for this. Instead, the $30,000 up on the thermometer is mostly the work of my family and close friends, chipping away at what sounded like a crazy goal. In that time, my mother and grandmother taught me to cook for 30 people, I built a science education program out of what used to be some boxes in a closet in a warehouse,  my friends got me running lots of 5Ks, my dad donated so much blood the blood center is practically on his speed dial, Donor's Choose reports I have helped 966 kids, my parents started supporting an orphanage in Africa, and most of my family has either given or received charitable donations for birthdays and Christmas. Once we got into the swing of it, the dollars just ticked away. There were hurdles, of course: I lost my job, I lost confidence in how I could reach this goal, at various times I lost focus on the effort. Making a habit of volunteering and the encouragement of my family seemed to provide enough momentum to pull me through. I am really grateful to the friends and family (all of you) that pitched in along the way- despite the fact that the elevator pitch is terrible, and that I often just felt like I was asking for money. And I hope they are happy too- I mean, look at all the cool things we accomplished!

When I first started this project, my dad teased that he would help out this year, but $31,000 is too much for the next year. I have been thinking about how I would follow-up this project. I have found organizations I want to continue to support because they bring me so much joy. I have also learned that volunteering is a really great way for me to feel connected to my community, regardless of whether I meet many people while doing it, so I hope to continue that effort. Mostly, I want to continue to live generously and remain connected to my community, even as my community changes (when I lose my job again in December) and the things I can give change. I want to know that some of the goodness in the world is because of, and for, me.

Re-resolving to Meet This Goal

Being 30, I'm starting to warm up to the parts of myself that aren't going to change. I tend to think of it more in the context of recognizing my strengths, but these come hand in hand with weaknesses. For example, I'm a starter. I love starting new projects, getting new things off the ground and the experience of diving in to new experiences. It makes me a bit bold about novelty. But in contrast, I am not such a great finisher. The top of my desk (and most of my office) is littered with projects I have started, that I have sunk too much time on to completely abandon, although I have quite clearly done just that.

I knew this about myself going in to this crazy project. I was particularly attracted to the craziness of it. But I also knew that at some point I'd get far enough along that I could see the end coming along, and just sorta bail, confident in the knowledge that I would get there eventually. Id join a few groups, and then forget to track, and... well, whatever. To prevent this behavior, I was looking for things that I could engage in regularly, to help me keep up the momentum.  Dinner for Friend's of Youth has been one of those. 5Ks were another. But... I've kinda lost momentum on the other aspects. Finding small ways to stay engaged (and tracking them), getting my friends and family to help with these things, and putting it on the blog has fallen by the way side a bit. 

This is in part because I'm busy. But even more so, it is probably because I need to find volunteer activities that are a good fit for the kind of life I want to be leading. That was (supposed to be) at the core of this project, that I could use this as an excuse to get involved in my community in a way that feels natural.

And maybe I should get a bit more honest with myself about the life I'm realistically going to lead, instead of the life I think I should lead. Let me be honest, the work I am doing with HiveBio, which is very cool, and exciting, and novel is SO hard on me. It turns out, I HATE being in charge. I stress out about decisions, I'm reluctant to tell people what to do, and I would rather talk about venereal disease than money. These are all tasks I'm called on to do fairly often in my role. I should probably figure out how I can transition to instead doing something I'm good at, so I'll feel better about the work. Moral of the story- don't kill yourself doing something you suck at when it would be better for everyone if you did something you were good at instead.

As I enter the new year though, I don't just want to be shirking my responsibilities and waiting for this thermometer to rise on it's own. Instead, I'm going to get back to blogging, which requires me to have something worth blogging about. I'll be getting back to bugging my friends and family to helping me raise the last $10,000 on the thermometer, hopefully before I turn 31. That's something to feel good about.

Happy New Year!

HiveBio Moves

Over the weekend, HiveBio relocated. If you have not ever moved a lab, you may not be aware of the vast numbers of weird shaped, fragile objects that tend to get deeply packed into a lab.  The old lab space was about 300 sq feet, and filled every inch of a 17 foot uHaul. When you move a lab, you always start thinking- 'this will be easy, everything is basically already in boxes,' and this slowly progresses into 'how are there so. many. boxes?!'  I knew this was coming. I also know that our executive board (ie, the people who would actually be doing the move) was only half available on the day of the move. We needed more hands, and preferable some with burly biceps attached. So, I called on some old friends.

I sent along a very pathetic request for help to my high school friends who live in the area, and JJ and Paul were both unable to invent an excuse and actually offered to help. They probably had no idea what they were getting into- from their arrival to the time we left the new lab space, they spent 7 hours hauling boxes out of the old space, into the the new building (down 3 flights of stairs) and into the new space. By the time the last box was unloaded, I felt like I'd been holding them hostage. Seriously, "I owe you a beer" does not even begin to cover it.

Moving the lab had been a major source of anxiety for the entire organization- the new space is great: great location, great space, great opportunity. But we needed to quickly transition from the old space to the new space AND get functional so we can start paying rent like responsible citizens. Multiple trips, storing boxes over night in the truck, we don't have time or finances for any of this. In my mind, this was spiraling into a number of other tragic situations- the truck gets impounded for illegally parking too long while we try to fill it, all the contents are destroyed by poor packing in the drive across town, the truck gets stopped and harassed for looking like the other definition of "mobile lab" ... But, none of this happened. We were inhumanly efficient. We didn't even have to stand around and shout at each other (another common tactic I've seen in moves). It was awesome.  I'm terribly grateful to both Paul, JJ and of course my dear husband for showing up and blowing a beautiful Saturday to help me bring science to the people.

And, and... since the move actually happened, we get to announce our opening party! I love parties! Please join us at the space Oct 18 to see what HiveBio is all about.

Another reason I am so grateful... After this weekend, we smashed the 50% mark! Since we had a multi-person multiplier for the day, the thermometer LEAPed up for 52% of the goal! Unbelievable!

Something Amazing: 40%!!

Saturday morning, we somehow talk ourselves, our friends, their parents and my parents to get get up early and go to a small 5K, the Bridge to Adoption 5K. It had been quite a hectic week, since both Matt and I have been busy with HiveBio stuff, but we wanted to run this event.

Fig 1. Before the Race. Matt and Julie are saving every ounce of energy.

1) It's super close.
2) Jeffrey and Matt ran last year, and came in 1 and 2.
3) Adoption is even more on everyone's minds of late.... and this event is fundraising for the adoption of a second child in the organizers family.
4) As always, the multi-person multiplier seemed in my favor here.
Since I was with my parents as I was registering, they agreed to come and walk, under the condition that we would all have breakfast together afterwards. It's a nice run through Blyth Park, and although Matt and Jeffrey both put up better times than last year, someone else beat them.  But, hey, we won gift cards in the raffle, and Julie even won a pair of new shoes in the raffle.  How great is that!

Fig 2. Post-race, and post-breakfast. A good time was had by all.

And then I came home, and added the tally to the spreadsheet. 7 people at the 5K, my time at HiveBio, Matt's time with the HiveBio computers, the value of the computer themselves...., and holy cats! We just hit 40%!! Seriously, more than $12,000 raised for charity.

While it is obvious to me now that I need to spend some time explaining what I am doing with HiveBio, I also want to spend some time reflecting on the momentum we have currently. I've mentioned this before; the best ways to volunteer time are the ways that a most compatible with your lifestyle. I can easily ask my mom and grandmother to help me make dinner for the shelter because they like to cook. I can easily convince Jeffrey to run a 5K (who in turn can get the rest of his family to tag along), since he loves running anyway. I filled up our garage with old computers, and Matt was keen to get fixing them. My plan for the rest of the year is to highlight diferent causes that I like to support, and hopefully this will help spring to mind ways that others can help as well.

What a Great Birthday!

I have the best friends and family ever. Seriously. I'm still so excited about all the good stuff yinz did for my big day.

First things first: we shattered the 30% mark! 31.5% is the official high water mark as of my birthday!

Is it crass to talk numbers? I don't really care. For my actual birthday, my awesome friends and family helped me to push up the thermometer nearly $900- nearly 3% of the way there! In one day!

So let's break it down. I had TWO friends go in for their very first blood donations, thanks Karen and Ruth! Both of them said it was not terrible, that people were very friendly and they got to eat cookies. You should try this.

My parents gave another donation to one of my favorite teachers on Donor's Choose who is moving to a new classroom and needs (choke) pencils for her third grade students who can't afford their own pencils and crayons. Ms. Kacsur's classroom has been supported by my folks in the past, someday soon I hope to scan in some of the thank you cards I got from her students. *misty eyes*

AND my parents gave me some hats to take to Friends of Youth (you may be wondering if generosity is hereditary: I believe it is a learned behavior). Combined with the lamps and tent from Karen, I'm ready to take quite a haul to the Friend's of Youth office up the hill from me, to distribute these items to foster, at risk and homeless youth.

My parents ALSO gave some money to Northwest Harvest, the regional food bank. It both infuriates and inspires me that there can be people in America who would go hungry, if it weren't for the work of food banks like Northwest Harvest. I'm glad to finally get them up on the board.


I'm so glad to support Northwest Harvest, in fact, that I asked my friends to participate in a game of "skill" at my birthday party. We opened a pool for ladder golf, and planned to split the pool between the winner and Northwest harvest.  This resulted in both some friendly rivalry AND $80 for Northwest Harvest. Aren't my friends awesome??

I had a great time, and I really can't think of a better way to spend the day. Thanks to my friends to hung out with me, supported the causes I care about, and generally made me feel awesome about turning 30.

Before the SummeRun 5K. It might take me longer than 10 minutes.

Here is How I Want to Celebrate

I'm turning 30 this year. For my birthday, I'd really like to live in a more wonderful world.
For my birthday, I would like:

• all of my friends to go donate blood (I add an hour to the thermometer for each donation)
• for money to go to Northwest Harvest to support the good work they do to battle hunger (Text ENDHUNGER to 80888 to make a $10 donation from your phone.* *See details here.)
• for people to come and run a 5K with me to support efforts to end Ovarian Cancer. You can join my team when you register (30 for my 30th, of course), or donate to my efforts here. But it would be most fun if you came to run with me.
• for people nearby to come to my house, eat cake, share merriment and bring me items from the Friends of Youth Supply Wish List, to support the needs of foster children in transition and homeless youth on the Eastside. More details on this to emerge, but Sunday afternoon, my house.

If you do any of these things, or any other really awesome thing in your community, let me know so I can throw it on the thermometer.You'll be glad you did, because then we can share this happy and good feeling.

And, if you know of any good charity food events (pancake breakfast, crab feed, etc) in the area, please let me know so I can add it to my schedule!

--Update 7/17/13--
I've hit my fundraising goal for the 5K! Thanks to the support of my friends and coworkers, how cool! Ovarian Cancer research and patient relief can still use your help, so it's not to late to pledge. Or consider supporting one of my teammates.

We are getting so close to 30%...

Busy Day- Go charity!

A long weekend mean lots of time to get involved in the community. We kicked off the day with a 5K that was benefiting the Special Olympics.  We can talk about how slow my time was, or we can talk about how awesome it was to see families encouraging this Down's Syndrome kids on the same course- or how cool it was when the lady pushing her cerebral palsy son crossed the finish line.  It was a pretty great 5K.

Figure 1: Delicious Pancake Image stolen from here, the KITH website

And THEN, we went for the KITH/Kiwanis Pancake Breakfast. And I say "we" to mean not just myself and husband, but his bestie and wife and kiddo. We got the multiplier! The awesome thing about going to a pancake breakfast with a 4 year old is the access to high quality pancakes. Sure, we all got yummy pancakes, but the kid got Mickey Mouse Pancakes- with a smile, how do you even do that?- a doggy pancake and a BIKE pancake.  Kiwanis seriously knows how to make their pancakes; I'll be watching out for opportunities to eat and support good causes with pancakes.